Radical Honesty

Have you ever picked up a book and felt it was going to change your life — in the first few pages?  Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton PhD is the kind of book that prompted me to get out a highlighter and mark it up — too many goodies to pass up.  Here are a few … but with a warning … this guy uses “colorful” language.  So here are some quotes, which I’ll try to “clean up.”

“I am sixty-four years old.  I have been a psychotherapist in Washington, D.C. for 30 years … This is what I have learned:

“We all lie like he**.  It wears us out.  It is the major source of all human stress.  Lying kills people.

“The kind of lying that is most deadly is withholding, or keeping back information from someone we think would be affected by it.

“The mind is a jail built out of bull**** … This book tells how the bull**** jail of the mind gets built and how to escape.  This is a “how to” book on freedom.  Withholding from other people, not telling them about what we feel or think, keeps us locked in the jail … The way out is to get good at telling the truth.

“I work mostly with “garden variety” neurotics … often … accompanied by somatic discomforts and diseases … When therapy works, the somatic ills disappear … and people take responsibility for making their relationships, professional lives, and creative powers work.  Taking responsibility means a person no longer blames outside circumstances, or other people, or past events for the conditions of his own life.

“Therapy is over when a person stops incessantly demanding that other people be different from what they are, forgives his or her parents and other begrudged former intimates, reclaims the power to make life work, and takes responsibility for doing so.”

Pretty cool.  There’s an old proverb, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”  I decided to apply these principles of truth before I even got the book …

You know how easy it is to let people slide with words and actions that hurt you?  We tend to walk away, or lash back with accusations.  Well I’m tired of that nonsense.  I love to be with people and usually give them every benefit of the doubt.  But I have decided life is too short to not let people know when they’ve hurt me.  Yes, it’s easier to burn bridges and walk away, but what if they did it unintentionally?  Why say NO to a relationship that might be easily repaired?

Such was the case with the doctor I recently wrote about.  I felt very hurt by his treatment of me one day, so I let him know how he hurt me.  I told him I would like to continue to be his patient.  He responded by cancelling my next appointment.  Oh well, at least I tried.  I didn’t hide … I told the truth … and I feel a lot healthier for doing so.

“The truth shall set you free!”

Do you have a moment of “radical honesty” to share?  If so, feel free to leave a comment!

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5 Responses to “Radical Honesty”

  1. Mark Boss Says:

    “the mind is a jail built out of bull” That’s a great line. Sounds like one of those books where you nod in agreement one page and laugh out loud on the next.

  2. slowdancejournal Says:

    Absolute honesty happens when I feel I have nothing more to lose. Getting out of a relationship that has run its course, quitting a job that’s turned toxic–those are the times that I’ve been at my most honest. Absolute honesty signals an impending change of course.

    When fully invested an honest statement that might jeopardize a basically good situation is hard to risk.

  3. June Haywood Says:

    I still use the Bible as my guide on how to live my life. Gods truth trumps the worlds truth every time. You were missed at Dogwood. Still love ya.

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